He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Come on in and take your pants off
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