Im at strip club and am horny
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
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Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
drinking out of a sandbucket again
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
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