Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
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