How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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