did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
