I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
