I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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