Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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