3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
