did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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