we should wear snuggies to the strip club
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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