apparently the secret to your success is patron
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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