you guys were way drunker than both of me
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Everyone says I win the strip club
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
