So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
