Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
