:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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