i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
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