Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
did you just send me my own nude
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
If I die, sorry about rent.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
