Where did you get a picture of my penis
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
