Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
