No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
