hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
