'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
