Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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