I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
