Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
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