Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize