Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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