Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Randomize
