I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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