i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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