I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
either way he was missing a nipple.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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