all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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