Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
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there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize