I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
You had me at "let me see your balls"
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize