I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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