why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
My feet surprised me
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