Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
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I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
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Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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