I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
You're like the curious george of whores
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
