Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
