i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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