Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
