You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
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Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
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