Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
