I seem to have left my pride at pride
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I just blew my weed a kiss
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
