I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
The best revenge is premature balding
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
