He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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