remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
