Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
