I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
