i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize