you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize