pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
