Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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