You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
