pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
