I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I could make wine with my vomit
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
