I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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