This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
