Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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